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Champagne: A Delectable Weapon

When I moved into my first apartment in college my Mom offered me various pieces of mis-matched furniture and sage advice: “Always have a bottle of champagne in your refrigerator.” 

To a college kid surviving off $2 burritos, Woodstock’s pizza, Popov and Keystone Light, this seemed a tad indulgent.

“If someone breaks in, you throw the champagne hard at their feet and the explosion will enable you to make a get away.”

Brilliant. Better than pepper spray and you can drink it too – a double-duty weapon. 

To this day there is always a bottle of bubbly in my fridge and a bottle or five in reserve in the basement. Perfect for self-defense and celebration.

If you choose to build your own arsenal, here are a few of my favorites:

  • Toad Hollow Risque (sub-$20 usually): This is the perfect sparkling wine for a girls’ night in. Sweet and naughty it pairs well with Chambord for a decadent Kir Royal.
  • Roederer Estate Brut: (Often can be found for $20 or less): Roederer produces a consistently dry, vibrant sparkling wine. Jim and I picked the Roederer Estate Brut as the sparkling wine for our wedding and no one was disappointed. My sister and I enjoy sipping it while dining al fresco on clams or mussels.
  • Domaine Carneros Vintage Brut: ($26): If you ever find yourself in Sonoma or Napa, head on over to Domaine Carneros for a glass of bubbly and a cheese plate on the deck of the Chateau overlooking the Carneros Valley. On a sunny day, there is no better place to be and the bubbly is on par with the champagne of its partner Taittinger.  The Famous Gate pinot noir is also excellent.
  • Perrier-Jouet, “The Flower Bottle”: ($145): I would probably throw a vase before letting one of Perrier-Jouet’s flower bottles bounce to the floor, it’s that good.  This champagne is one of my Mom’s favorites and she has excellent taste so just trust me on this one. Keep your eye out for Christmas specials where you can find the champagne with matching flutes at a slightly lower price (sometimes even at Costco – shocking).

Now, get out there and arm yourself!


7 Responses

  1. What a great range of selections for your bubbly celebrations!

    I’ve had several of them and completely agree with both how they present and how enjoyable they are.


  2. Oh, great! Thanks for the recommendations!

  3. I’m gonna keep checkin’ you out … soon I can partake again and looks like you know your stuff. 🙂

  4. That is awesome! I am going to have to go get Champagne and tell my husband it is for self defense!

  5. I always have some champagne and chocolates in my fridge, normally a mid quality bollinger. The ladies love being wooed with the famus duo.

  6. Love it. Usually I just keep a bottle o’ bubbly for cocktail hour, but I like the idea that it’s a weapon of festive destruction as well.

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