Food Foibles

Despite my best efforts, there are certain foods I just cannot eat with elegance and grace.

Spaghetti, linguine, and angel-hair pasta are on my restaurant black-list. If I use a spoon to wind the pasta around my fork it ends up becoming a baseball size mass or continues to slip off the spoon. So, it’s ravioli, gnocchi, tortellini or penne pasta for me.

Sandwiches? Disaster. I’ll take a bite and my teeth won’t manage to break through a tomato or cucumber, causing the entire offending item to slide out of the sandwich and dangle in mid-air from my teeth. Charming.

Sushi? Too big rolls are a sushi scare. My teeth cannot cut through seaweed, so I have to nibble the rice from around the outside of the sushi to make it into a bite-size piece or risk the sushi falling apart mid-bite, all over the table.

On my way back from Los Angeles, I resorted to peanut butter crackers, water and as a congratulations to myself for doing the closing argument, a box of Junior Mints. I at my crackers with tea from the first beverage service and them settled in with a book and Junior Mints. The flight was going along smoothly, I was enjoying my book, the Junior Mints were tasty and then . . . one fell down my shirt. My tucked-in tank-top under my v-neck cardigan sweater to be precise.

Dilemma. What do I do? Do I reach down my shirt? NO. Untuck my shirt and shake the Junior Mint onto the floor? Looking at the NFL size wedged into the seat next to me, I thought “probably not.” As the chocolate minty delight began to melt against my belly – so appropriate in so many ways – I casually continued to read my book and eat the remaining Junior Mints waiting for the fasten seat belt sign to go off. The bell pinged and I was up like a shot, off to the plane restroom to remove the melting mint.

Sigh . . . Do these thing ever happen to you?

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3 Responses

  1. Yes they do. I’ve never had that EXACT junior mint issue, but I definitely have an inability to eat spaghetti cleanly in public. šŸ˜‰

  2. Was your shirt white or a light color? I only spill or drop things when I’m wearing a color that the stain will be extremely visible.

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