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Adventures In Yoga

I found out definitively yesterday that the data on my flash drive is unrecoverable.  Sigh.  Luckily I found out at the end of the day and I headed off to the yoga studio, to stretch, strengthen and forget.

The hot hatha room was packed wall to wall with people ready to unwind after their work days.  I was fortunate enough to have landed a space with a fair amount of room.  After the first warm-up asanas I was reveling in the ability to completely extend my arms when a latecomer cruised in.  A man of medium build and shirtless (so unfair) rushed in and rolled out his mat beside me.  No biggie, I can share space.  

While I try to focus on my own yoga practice I do tend to let my eyes wander at moments and check out the others in class.  It was on such an eye wander that I spotted Gumby Girl – a young, thin dirty blonde with Gumby like flexibility.  I watched amazed as she moved through dancer’s pose and other standing poses with her leg almost completely vertical.  Now, she wasn’t actually doing all of the poses correctly.  For example in dancer’s pose her hips were no where near square (which, I confirmed with the instructor afterwards are where your hips should be).  So I’m curious as to whether she’s actually getting the benefit of the poses.  Hmmm.

Standing poses over, it was time to move down to the mat.  While lying in corpse pose I discovered the disadvantage of my new next-mat neighbor – he smelled like feet.  As I turned my nose slightly in the other direction I almost laughed as this was one of the things that keeps a friend of mine away from hot yoga.  Mouth breathing quickly became my friend.

After 60 minutes of heat, aromatherapy of the wrong kind, and some good stretching I headed up to the locker rooms for a quick shower.  I showered, pulled out my sweats from my gym bag and discovered that my bra (or breast holder-inners as Jim calls them) was missing.  Indeed, it was back at the office with my work clothes.  Oh no!  Now to give you some idea of the size of the problem, I am a 32 DD.  That’s right.  Small back, big rack.  And yeah, even though I’m from Cali, they’re real.

Getting back into my sweat soaked exercise bra was not an option.  I had a tank top and sweatshirt so I thought maybe I could get away with it.  I got dressed, gathered up my things and started the walk back to the office.  At the first shop window I took a little side-long glance to see just how bad the situation was.  Bounce, Bounce, Bouncy, Bouncy, Bounce.  Yep.  For a 1/2 mile through downtown back to my office.  It made me think of the bra-burners back in the 60s.  And specifically, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!  Symbolism be damned, support is the girls’ best friend.

So, what have I learned from today’s adventures:

  • Being a human gumby does not mean you are doing the poses correctly;
  • Choose your mat neighbors wisely and make sure they are aroma free;  and
  • Free-boobing it is no fun.


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10 Responses

  1. Sarah
    1)Love that you actually checked with the teacher to verify Gumby was incorrect. hahahahahahha I know you wanted to say dishwater instead of dirty blonde and then thought it was too harsh

    2)NEVER sit next to guy without shirt. Always bad sign. They are never hot, never smell good and generally are stomach turning. Please random hot yummy smelling guy with no shirt come to healdsburg and prove me wrong.

    3) Dab scented oil under your nose; you may be able to breathe without gagging

    4) Embrace the bounce. You probably made at least 10 guys day. next time try with white tank top. Enjoy the loving stares and horrified glances from others. Bring Mace just in case.

  2. I am so bad about my eyes wondering during yoga class. Although I have found out that it just makes me extremely insecure. I hear you on the boob issue…. I am 4’11 and had D boobs which have gone to a C with a TON of working out. But it’s still very different for me since they take up half my dang body!


  3. The end of this was hilarious! I guess this is the one time I’m glad I’m an A. I think I could run a mile without a bra and be totally OK. For once, the grass isn’t greener. 😉

  4. unrecoverable? oh, man, that just sucks…seriously.

    as for yoga…havent done it in ages…my head isnt “altogether ” for it…apparently it likes to just sit and stare at the wall in horrified worry instead…

    fun post.

  5. Thank you for this post! I have sadly gotten out of the habit of practicing yoga…but your words inspired me (and made me laugh). I just found your blog the other day, and I’ve been greatly enjoying your posts. Thank you for sharing!

  6. oh boy oh boy oh boy…. the bounce is sooo painful…. I have DD s too and its more of a backpain than anything…. yeah I know the feeling and I hate it when I forget shower flipflops or underwear when I go to the gym…. anyway … at least the hot hatha sounds relaxing :))

  7. As one yoga-loving foodie to another, this is a fun post. Even though I’m only a 32D, I can so relate. And, yes, occasionally the aromatic studio mates make a practice interesting. I try to let it remind me of what India is like. And those dang hips; a constant struggle for squareness.


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