Is it possible to gain 2 pounds in 2 days without midnight raids to McDonald’s, Dick’s or Ben & Jerry’s? Because it appears that I have. I know what you’re going to say, it’s hot (84 here yesterday), you’re probably retaining water (my husband, who is a fat burning machine, already said that this morning when he noticed a 5 pound upswing that will no doubt result in a 7 pound weight loss tomorrow – SO UNFAIR!). With the amount of water I’ve been slugging down, however, I can’t see how that is possible. Besides, this isn’t the first time this has happened and for some reason that 2 or 3 or 4 pounds that suddenly appears one morning does not disappear the next, or the next.
The worst part is this seems to be fairly common for women my age – out of our twenties but still on the right side of 40 – even for bitches like me who managed to stay rail thin through college on a diet of pizza, burritos and beer – ok, mostly beer – without doing much in the way of exercise. Those days are clearly over. Excepting my still genetically blessed friends, all my other girlfriends share the same creep of the scale problem. One of my girlfriends in OC, who is the most disciplined of us all, has become a pescetarian, puts in an hour on the treadmill or elliptical every morning and goes to 3 or 4 classes at the gym – JUST TO MAINTAIN! The rest of us, increase our exercise, watch our calorie intake (failing miserably every time we go out or – horror – have a glass of wine) and complain about our ever-widening hips. Should we just except fate? For a girl raised on a steady diet of supermodels in the 80s and 90s and knows genetic disposition can be conquered or manhandled, there’s only one answer to that question – HELL NO!
So, enough bitching. No more 5-6 day a week workouts, I’m going for every day and it appears that I will have to engage in the methods that have always worked in the past but are so painful – no sugar, minimal fat, limited liquor. Goodbye chocolate, goodbye cheese, goodbye butter. And honey, if you’re reading this, there’s going to be a lot less meat in our meals. Hmmm, yes that’s the plan, starting . . . Monday. Hey, I should at least get to enjoy the weekend!